Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Come see our sink grown plant.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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