Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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