doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
