I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
