lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
