I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize