I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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