is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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