No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
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