just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize