I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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