Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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