hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
