Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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