Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
