Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
if i died would you start the facebook group?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
