The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
