U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
