is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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