so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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