We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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