so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize