Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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