I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
