Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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