Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
