Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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