Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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