FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
