he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
