he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
