Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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