He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
