return my video game
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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