I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize