But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
