I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
