it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The feeling are messing with the penis
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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