how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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