Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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