I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I could make wine with my vomit
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
