This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
