Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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