is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
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