i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
