and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
