Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
it's like heaven, but drunker
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
