Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize