His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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