C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
