You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
