something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
