butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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