batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
