my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
