You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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