So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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