How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
