So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
