The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
