I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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