Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
