i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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