My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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