You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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