the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
