I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
