He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
